Offers of prayer and alternative medicine come with two big assumptions: that I can be changed (which, outside of a miracle, is unlikely to happen) and that I need to be un-disabled to be okay.
Tag Archives | illness
For us it was my unexpected neurological illness that turned our love upside down. If love languages were inflexible things, we would have been sunk.
These past few years have shown a flurry of small breakthroughs in ME research, indicating inflammation in the brain, showing perhaps for the first time biochemically the ME patient’s abnormal physiological response to exercise, and a possible autoimmune origin. Finding the cause seems closer than ever – but because the government won’t fund it, we are reliant on people who know how devastating this illness can be in order to take research forward.
“I don’t know what God is doing. I don’t know why He heals me and then doesn’t heal me. I don’t know why He heals some and not others. I don’t know what governs His actions. That is what makes Him God.”
Eventually I sob out to a few friends on Voxer: Who am I? What am I doing with my life? – and it feels good to have released something. My friend Sarah replies, and says that in lots of cultures around the world, the women, particularly the mothers, are the archivists. They record the memories, take the photos, write the stories.
When you have no voice, you are entirely dependent on other people’s willingness to listen to you.
When you have no voice, every single time you strain your body to whisper, there is a cost. You only speak because you absolutely have to speak.
When you have no voice, it is a very lonely experience. People stop asking your opinion, because they know you can’t answer back.
Can we just all agree, unanimously, to put a pause on January? Wouldn’t that be nice – just to have a couple of weeks of zero time, an empty space with neither Christmas nor New Year Resolutions – so we can all catch up with ourselves before the year begins?
She is my hero, because, like Job, she endures. We admire those who climb mountains and endure freezing temperatures, and history applauds them. But where are the records and awards for those who climb mountains of pain and isolation, day after day, for decades?