“I don’t know what God is doing. I don’t know why He heals me and then doesn’t heal me. I don’t know why He heals some and not others. I don’t know what governs His actions. That is what makes Him God.”
Tag Archives | illness
Eventually I sob out to a few friends on Voxer: Who am I? What am I doing with my life? – and it feels good to have released something. My friend Sarah replies, and says that in lots of cultures around the world, the women, particularly the mothers, are the archivists. They record the memories, take the photos, write the stories.
When you have no voice, you are entirely dependent on other people’s willingness to listen to you.
When you have no voice, every single time you strain your body to whisper, there is a cost. You only speak because you absolutely have to speak.
When you have no voice, it is a very lonely experience. People stop asking your opinion, because they know you can’t answer back.
Can we just all agree, unanimously, to put a pause on January? Wouldn’t that be nice – just to have a couple of weeks of zero time, an empty space with neither Christmas nor New Year Resolutions – so we can all catch up with ourselves before the year begins?
She is my hero, because, like Job, she endures. We admire those who climb mountains and endure freezing temperatures, and history applauds them. But where are the records and awards for those who climb mountains of pain and isolation, day after day, for decades?
Even this week, there have been three gangs of marauding machete-wielding men terrorising our neighbourhood. So we padlock our doors and pray more, and more than anything I’m desperate that my kids don’t get freaked out by the guns
Whilst still married, I have fallen in love with another who pursued me for all that he needed before he then rejected me, and abused power and position to save himself.
I have suffered from depression, and I know the madness that has such power that it convinced me that my children would be better off if I was dead.
My interview for BBC Radio 4 on the topic of being ‘in the world, but not of the world’, presented by John McCarthy