My friend is hurting – what do I say? {my post for Relevant}

I’m really excited to announce that I have an article over on Relevant Magazine today, on two easy steps to practising compassion. Please do check it out, and if you enjoy it, share it with others!

“How do you respond to a friend who’s hurting? I have a post-graduate qualification in counseling, I have been a paid Christian minister for over a decade, I have also experienced suffering. But nothing in my experience or training is as useful as this simple verse:…”

Continue reading over at Relevant.


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6 Responses to My friend is hurting – what do I say? {my post for Relevant}

  1. Mark Allman 29th October, 2013 at 8:45 pm #

    I did not have an account to comment over at Relevant Magazine but here is what I wanted to say:

    It is amazing that you can have someone who loves you rejoice with you at the same time you are weeping with them. Love manifesting itself.

    There is a power in presence as well. Just being there not saying a word but standing with. Standing with without words conveys so much. A willingness to come alongside and walk through the pain with you and to feel it with you and to build each other up by standing alongside.

    • Tanya 11th November, 2013 at 9:39 am #

      Thank you so much for your wisdom here, Mark. Yes – coming alongside and walking with shows so much respect for the person and the pain they are encountering, rather than trying to fix it, which is what we often automatically turn to. (Because if it was fixable, then the other person would presumably have fixed it!) My husband is particularly good at the coming alongside and being with, without particularly using words, and also showing love through service, which can be so powerful, too. I often think that we shy away from people who are hurting, because we fear saying the wrong thing, or just not knowing what to say, when just saying nothing can be so powerful. Thank you.

  2. Juliet 29th October, 2013 at 1:29 pm #

    I had never before thought of Jesus weeping at Lazarus’ tomb as a sign of his compassion only of his own grief. I like the way you have made me rethink this.

    • Tanya 11th November, 2013 at 9:40 am #

      I always love it when someone makes me rethink a Bible passage. Thank you for telling me this!

  3. Cathy 26th October, 2013 at 2:16 pm #


    • Tanya 11th November, 2013 at 9:40 am #

      Thank you!

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