Speed date

It’s ‘Five minute Friday’ time! It’s inspired by Lisa-Jo over at The Gypsy Mama.  The idea is that you write for five minutes flat on a topic, without worrying about whether it’s right or not.  It’s kinda fun!  Check out others’ interesting 5-minute posts on the topic by clicking on the button below.

This is my best five minutes on ‘Opportunity’.



I was snippy and abrupt.  He was banging the washing basket frustratedly and sighing.


The sun was shining and I was waiting, lying on a lounger.

“I thought you were going to spend an hour with me now, as I haven’t really seen you all week. I was waiting.”


“I had to send an email – I told you. And now I have to do the washing.”

We paused, sighed; started again.


We sat, facing each other on loungers in the garden. Because we didn’t have long, we used a stopwatch. (We are both scheduley people). The rules were: he had 10 minutes to talk and I would listen, then we’d swap.


He talked for 6 minutes. I listened. He stopped talking. I advised. He pointed out that I had advised instead of listening. I apologised (so much for the counselling training!) I waited.

Much of the remaining 4 minutes was silent. We slowed down. We watched birds flapping in the trees.


I spoke – just for 10 minutes. I poured out a bubbling stream of questions and insecurities and wonderings and explorings and he stayed with me and negotiated the misty bits of my subconsciousness as I thought about friendships and time and writing.

I felt loved.





18 Responses to Speed date

  1. Laurie 25th May, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

    I love that you set aside time to listen and time to talk. I’ve found that my husband likes to talk about politics and sports (both topics tend to bore me) and I like to talk about people (not gossip but relational topics). I have to remind myself often that even though I may not be interested in the topic, I should always be interested in the speaker. Amazing how much love is felt just by being heard. 🙂

    • Tanya 28th May, 2012 at 8:39 pm #

      ‘even though I may not be interested in the topic, I should always be interested in the speaker.’
      – very wise!

  2. Becky Daye 25th May, 2012 at 5:53 pm #

    Thanks for sharing this! My husband and I don’t schedule time because we are both spontaneous, so it was fun to see a different side of it!

    • Tanya 25th May, 2012 at 6:09 pm #

      Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Rachel Wojnarowski 25th May, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

    Just to encourage you, our pastor told us a few weeks ago that women use 30,000 words a day and men use 20,000. So it’s ok that you have 10,000 more than your husband. 😉 No wonder mine comes home and I verbally vomit all over him. Must blog more during the day. lol Happy Friday! Thanks for sharing!!

    • Tanya 25th May, 2012 at 6:09 pm #

      HA! vindicated! love this!
      Thanks so much for stopping by.

  4. Sam @ Sam's Noggin 25th May, 2012 at 3:10 pm #

    My husband and I don’t get many real “dates”, but we get to spend much time together each day. For that I am grateful. 🙂

    • Tanya 25th May, 2012 at 6:07 pm #

      There’s a lot to be said for quantity-time, not just quality-time…

  5. Laura 25th May, 2012 at 1:39 pm #

    Oh the discipline of chatting with the timer. I am a scheduler but my husband would never agree to such a thing. I love this story.

    • Tanya 25th May, 2012 at 1:45 pm #

      Thank you!
      Ah – it’s tricky if only one of you is a scheduler… I know that some of my friends would think this approach decidedly unromantic!

  6. Shelly Miller 25th May, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

    What an wonderful opportunity for love to do its work when you were intentional!

    • Tanya 25th May, 2012 at 1:44 pm #

      Thank you! – I’m enjoying linking up with you for FMF’s!

  7. Julie Sunne 25th May, 2012 at 1:17 pm #

    “I felt loved.” What a perfect ending to a post about Opportunity! It’s awesome how you both are intentional about listening to each other. Thanks for sharing. Blessings!

    • Tanya 25th May, 2012 at 1:44 pm #

      Thank you!

  8. LA Ramsey 25th May, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    This is precious! Love it, for married couples, speed dating may be the answer, huh? Especially if children are involved. We go on what I call “date moments” – we may be fulfilling a purpose like buying a gallon of milk but the point is, we are together, focused on each other. 🙂

    • Tanya 25th May, 2012 at 1:43 pm #

      Thanks! I love the idea of ‘date moments’ – I think intentionality is the key.

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