My video interview for New Wine Conference, 2017 – on my journey of faith, chronic illness, and the silences of God
© Tanya Marlow – Profile Picture
Bio in brief:
Tanya Marlow is an author, speaker and broadcaster on faith and spirituality.
She is also a campaigner for those with chronic illness, disability and Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.
Formerly a lecturer in biblical theology, with a decade of experience in Christian ministry, she has been published by The Spectator, Relevant, Premier Christianity magazine and others. She admits to a weakness for karaoke, sunny days and laughing at her own jokes. You can find her in a vicarage in Devon, England with her husband and bouncy son, or writing honestly about finding God in hard places and the messy edges of life at www.tanyamarlow.com.
Author of Three Books:
She is the author of Those Who Wait: Finding God in disappointment, doubt and delay (Malcolm Down Publishing, 2017) – a creative and transformative journey through the lives of four Bible characters who waited impatiently – and found God in their frustrated longings. Preorder from Wordery (free worldwide delivery) or look out for the introductory offer 16-26th October on Amazon.
She is a contributor to Soul Bare – Stories of Redemption ed. Cara Sexton (IVP USA, 2016) alongside Seth Haines, Sarah Bessey, Emily P Freeman and more.
Her first book, Coming Back to God When You Feel Empty (2015), intertwines her own story with the biblical book of Ruth, offering a path back to God after disappointment and loss. (Get it for FREE here).
What do I write about?
My writing covers a whole host of topics, but circles around the spirituality of suffering:
- How do we relate to God when hard times come?
- What if God doesn’t feel near?
- Where can God be found?
- What if we are plagued with doubt?
- How does it really feel to have chronic illness?
- Where does the church fit in?
- What if we find ourselves in a wilderness or limbo state?
My background is in theology and ministry, but I have an English Literature degree, and I like to tackle these topics creatively, interweaving story and metaphor with spiritual truth.
I love exploring the Bible so it gets under your skin, ministers to your spirit, and leads you to Jesus.
Vulnerability and authenticity is a way to unlock courage in other people, so I write honestly about my life and weaknesses.
I dabble in feisty social justice, especially M.E. advocacy, rights for disabled people, and feminism.
This is a space for people who feel like they don’t belong. It is a place for doubters, lamenters, broken, disappointed, wobbly or lost – those who have seen the muck and of life and somehow still seek gold therein. This blog is for cynics and hopers, word-lovers and God-seekers. (I also habitually recommend good books and am occasionally hilariously funny*.) You are welcome here, and I’d love to get to know you more.
*honestly, I am.
Writer, Broadcaster, Campaigner:
- I write regularly for online magazines She Loves Magazine, and Mudroom (USA and worldwide). I have also written for The Spectator, Relevant Magazine.com (USA), Premier Christianity Magazine (UK), Threads (UK), and BigBible.
- I am a broadcaster who has been featured in BBC Radio 4, BBC Radio Devon, and UK’s Premier Christian Radio (audio), and Big Bible Project, BBC Spotlight, Change for ME documentary (video).
- I was the founder of Compassionate Britain, a grassroots campaign that united Christians to speak up for disabled people against the government cuts affecting their essential support. I also campaign for better treatment and funding for M.E. patients with #MEAction Network.
Background:
- I was formerly a lecturer in Biblical Theology, and Associate Director for a homiletics training course (accredited by St Mark and St John University, Plymouth, UK).
- I have had ten years’ experience as a Christian minister in both church and student ministry, and have been a speaker and preacher at national Christian conferences (Spring Harvest, New Wine, Greenbelt etc). I hold a post-graduate qualification in pastoral counselling.
My health:
- In 2007, I was diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, a debilitating chronic autoimmune neurological disease, which affects my mobility and energy, and comes with a plethora of annoying symptoms. You can read more about it here.
Sept 2016 – M.E. Action Protests for Better research and treatment
- In 2010, my world changed when I gave birth and my M.E. tipped over into ‘severe M.E.’ Since then I have been housebound, needing to spend approximately 21 hours per day in bed, only able to leave the house once or twice a month for a brief trip out in my wheelchair. I now measure out my life in teaspoons. I need to rest much of the day, and have to strictly ration my time talking with friends, writing, or playing with my son.
- In 2014 I was also diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), which means my body does not enjoy being upright, and my heart goes crazy when I stand up.
- Living with chronic illness has shaped and refined my theology, and made me passionate about justice for marginalised people. You can read more about my response to this in Why Thorns and Gold?
My family:
- I have an amazing husband who is a vicar (church minister) in the Church of England, and we live by the sea in Devon, UK. (NB the picture above is NOT Devon. It’s Greece…) He’s an artist, scholar, wine connoisseur, preacher-man and organiser of legendary kids’ parties. He blogs sporadically here.
- We have a small-but-loud golden-haired son whose company we enjoy immensely. To protect him from future teenage friends googling his name and finding out all the cute things he did as a toddler, I refer to him online as ‘boy’.
Wanna know even more about me? Click on my More About Me page for some fun facts.
But enough about me – what about you? Please do introduce yourself, say, hi, interact and leave a comment, tell me your story – I’d love to hear it.
Wanna keep in touch? Please do! The best way is to subscribe to my blog (unsubscribe at any time) and get your book, Coming Back to God When You Feel Empty, for FREE!
Hi Tanya – we had the pleasure of your company at St Mellitus College today, and I simply wanted to reach out to say a huge “Thank You”. We are very blessed with the wide variety of quality individuals who provide thought-provoking and life-changing input to us. The best visitors are always the ones who are personally vulnerable, sharing their stories with deep authenticity, and leaving an impact on us that goes far beyond simply being impressed with a clever lecture. Today you provided us with excellent well thought through content, though what I’m really grateful for, is the level of personal vulnerability you shared with us, allowing us to really meet a life who I know will go on to impact me for many years to come. Thank you. I’ve ordered your book about waiting, and look forward to devouring that when it arrives. Hope you took some pleasure from the encounter with us today too … we had some pretty lively conversation when the zoom connection was over!
Dear Mike
Thank you so much for tracking me down and taking the time to leave this note. You will never know quite how timely this was or how much it meant to me – I am profoundly grateful. Thanks so much for your thoughtful, considered feedback which is extremely helpful. Thank you for recognising my own vulnerability and for honouring it. I’m glad it triggered some good interaction afterwards (I trust no fisticuffs were involved).
Blessings
Tanya
Hello Tanya
I have been inspired by your story of how you do life with ME. I was diagnosed with MS back in 2022 and suffer with fatigue along with pain. I can relate with much of what you describe especially the bit about having to measure your life in teaspoons! I have been married for 30yrs to my best friend who is a pastor in the south of England. Life looks very different now from when we first started out ….. If I do make it to church it is mainly to the Sunday morning service.
Having always been an outgoing person who loves people it has been immensely challenging and difficult at times!
I can walk around indoors but use an electric wheelchair when out and about. I very much depend upon my husband to lift my chair in and out of the car so I do rely on his help most of the time. I do also know others close to me who have ME and it does tend to works itself out very much like MS. Praying for you as you battle the frustrations and limitations that being bed bound bring and as you continue to reach out to those who find themselves more and more prisoners in their own home.
Hi Tanya
I’ve been reading your notes in BRF (out of the correct date order!). I found your thoughts very helpful, maybe because like you I have experienced ME. I had it for 8 years in my 30s and recovered mainly because GP then allowed me to have magnesium injections which helped we walk again. I later in 2010 had a car crash and needed a stomach bypass, so had to learn to walk after that. I got covid in 2022 and it took 9 months before I could walk again. I’ve found Belinda Dawes book ‘Why me’ good on many occasions in what she says about lifestyle at least (it’s a bit dated now). Anyway, I suppose what I’m saying is though I’m not suffering what you are I know what it’s like and feel for you. I wrote a book of a month’s short thoughts with inspirational photos capturing my experience in 2022. I’d be happy to send if it might in anyway help. But I’m sure you could write your own book like this many times over. All good wishes