We look at the one incident and we make a false generalisation from it.
A relationship breaks up; we conclude, “I’m unlovable.”
A job opportunity falls through; we conclude, “I’m unemployable.”
A book proposal is rejected; we conclude, “I’m unpublishable.”
The truth is those words of rejection don’t get to define us. We know not what the future holds, and it is a mistake to project the ‘now’ onto the ‘not yet’.
The tricky thing to do at such times is to carefully delineate between us and the dream. Re-draw those boundaries and definitions. I am not the book. The book is not me.
For that short time, I thought that getting a book published was the key to my happiness. It wasn’t. However tightly held the dream is, it is not us, and it is not our happiness.
I’m over at The Mudroom, talking about being rejected, and how sometimes it can be a blessing – won’t you come with me over there?
Living this at the moment as sending out book submissions and we’re looking for a new job…it’s so tough, but as you say, it doesn’t define who we are. Hope you’re doing ok at the moment. xx