When God doesn’t heal: post for Prodigal

“I know the story I am supposed to tell. I am suppose to tell the story of my miraculous healing…”

Not many people know that I have a story of miraculous healing. I am VERY excited to be telling my story in Prodigal today – both of my miraculous healing and my not being healed. Please do come over with me and comment!

Health update: It has been a funny kind of a week. I am taking it very, very easy this week as I try and ride out this relapse. I am better than I was, but my battery is running very low indeed. I am cancelling one thing at a time, and postponing the panic. And people have been so very kind – I am really very grateful. And thank you so much for sharing my post far and wide for ME awareness on Monday – i was overwhelmed by the response. Thank you so much.

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9 Responses to When God doesn’t heal: post for Prodigal

  1. Holly 7th June, 2013 at 6:13 am #

    I look forward to reading more of your blog posts. I just discovered your blog recently. I have read the recent rod and staff blog. I saw this title and just had to read it. I have been living with M.E. for 16 long years. The first year that I was sick was such a walk in faith. I wrestled with wondering if maybe I didn’t have enough faith. I still do at times. I was 20 when I got sick. I was in college, working, going on mission trips, and so active. In a matter of months I had to move back home with my parents, had to leave college, and had to quit work. Taking a bath become an almost insurmountable task. There is so much to tell about this year and all that God did to prepare me for what was to come. I won’t go into all of it now of course. However, one incident is really standing out in my mind for some reason after reading this post. If you’ll indulge me I would like to share it with you. [Honestly I don’t know if God wants me to share it here for some reason or if something just triggered a memory. ๐Ÿ™‚ – maybe a bit of both.] A few months into this illness a man who knew my father and had heard I was sick called our home and asked to come by and pray for me. I said yes and it turns out he had just been at a revival. He came to pray I be healed. I am all for the healing thing so I agree. ๐Ÿ™‚ He says that before he prays if anyone in this room did not totally believe I would be healed at that moment then would they leave. I never want anyone to feel uncomfortable and always try to be accommodating so it wasn’t easy for me to say that I was afraid I would have to leave then. You see, I would have been fine if he said to believe God could heal me but he said would. I completely knew without a doubt that God could heal me. I just did not know if He would at that moment. It was an awkward moment for all involved but I truly felt I could not agree. I do not know God’s timing. I think it is perfectly wonderful to ask God for healing, immediate miraculous healing. However I have never felt I could tell God when He should heal me. I have begged, pleaded, cried and hoped for healing. I have heavily suggested to God that any minute now would be great. ๐Ÿ™‚ I admit I have prayed and claimed healing with television evangelists. How could I not try? I have wondered if I lacked faith often. I do believe I lack faith in many areas and every now and then I wonder if I have it all wrong about telling God to heal me now and maybe I should have believed in that moment that God would heal me. But I do not believe those doubts are of God. I believe God had prepared my heart to accept His timing. I do not know why I am not healed. I want to be. I knowGod can and it is hard to live with knowing that He can but He has not. However I do believe in that moment on that night I had more faith than those times I tried to claim God’s healing immediately. I hope I did not ramble too much. Thank you for sharing your in the middle story.

    • Tanya 8th June, 2013 at 9:16 pm #

      Thank you so much for this comment, and especially for telling your story. I am struck by your bravery – it is not easy to tell someone you would rather they didn’t pray for you, or that you don’t believe 100% that God is going to heal you then and there. I think the healing guy sounds a bit manipulative, however well-meaning – because what if he prays and you don’t get healed? Well, then it must be because you didn’t have enough faith/you have sin in your life (and who doesn’t have sin???) It can end up being a sick-person-blaming thing. So I think your theology was spot on, and I am really glad you had the courage to say it.

      Christians die of illnesses, every day. Most pray for healing – only occasionally does God heal. We need to keep this in mind. It gives glory to God when someone is healed, but it also gives glory to God when someone suffers well. These things are complex.

      Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment.

      • Holly 9th June, 2013 at 4:40 am #

        Thanks Tanya.

  2. learning2float 19th May, 2013 at 7:30 pm #

    This post was so timely for me. I read it yesterday after blogging about my meltdown at a healing day http://learning2float.wordpress.com/2013/05/18/healing-training-day/

    Thank you for posting about when God doesn’t heal, few share that side and I’m still wrestling with it.
    learning2float recently posted…Healing training day.My Profile

    • Tanya 22nd May, 2013 at 11:41 am #

      oh wow – great minds think alike, eh?

      Standing with you in it all.

      Much love.

  3. Claire 19th May, 2013 at 5:41 pm #

    Wow, thank you for this. It’s something I’ve struggled with over the past few years. Why does God heal some and not others? But then again, I look back on the past few years of life, which have been such a struggle, and yet there are so many blessings that I never would have experienced without the pain.
    Thanks for sharing
    Claire, Ireland

    • Tanya 22nd May, 2013 at 11:39 am #

      Thanks for reading!
      I’m so glad that you can see those glimpses of gold in amongst it all. Blessings. x

  4. Mary 18th May, 2013 at 2:53 pm #

    Oh how I love reading what you write! I too am a living miracle. God raised me up ath 6 weeks and I am now 62. God does not always answer our prayers that way however. My dear daddy died when I was only 17, and oh how I prayer for healing. And how angry I got at Abba God for not answering MY WAY. It took many years to stop running away from Him and turn back to Him. Years that resulted in many bad choices, a marriage that ended in divorce, a remarriage to a man who changed my life in ways both good and bad, and who died, leaving me with huge bills.
    Along the way I came across a saying, “When God removes something or someone from your grasp He is not punishing you, but opening your hand to receive something better”.
    Oh how He has. I am now remarried, retired, traveling with my husband by semi during the week and enjoying weekends together in the home I thought I would loose. No it is not perfect, but because I believe that God has put us together, and have seen how He provided and protected, even when I was running away, How LOVED I am by my Abba, I can live one day, one moment at a time, (most of the time anyway), with gratitude. That is what makes the difference in my life, gratitude. Gratitude for this moment. Gratitude for your blog. Gratitude for time to sit quietly this morning and read blogs, pray, reflect, have “quiet time” before we go off in a hundered different directions. Together….
    Something I did not believe I would ever have again.
    The Psalms tell us God knows us, even before we are born, loves us unconditionally, will be with us through it all, and give us peace, even in the storm.
    My prayer for you Tanya is PEACE in the storm, in the middle of the unfinished mess. Thanks for sharing. You are in my prayers. A sister in Christ.

    • Tanya 22nd May, 2013 at 11:34 am #

      Mary – thank you so much for sharing your story! Your life-embracing spirit just spills over in your words. Thank you.

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