My troubled marriage

a pair of blackbuck at tal chhapar

What do you do when you can’t hear God’s voice?

 

I write this from a place of frustration.

 

Someone asked me the other day how my relationship with God was going.

 
I said it felt like I was in a troubled marriage – I keep turning up for the dates, but the mealtimes are strained and awkward and neither party seems to have anything to say to one another. I’m reading the Bible, and I know it, I know it all – but it still feels like porridge, stodgy and wearisome and cold.

 

And the voice of God – I’m not hearing it! The voice of God that breaks the cedars of Lebanon, that has the sound of rushing waters, that makes wars cease – where is this voice? What makes Him so hard to hear?

 

I read my boy the psalms – ‘I am like a deer who wants water – I’m thirsty for you, God!’ and I know that psalm is the prayer of my heart.

 

So I stand here today and offer him my voice. I call to Him. I shout. I hunger and thirst for His words to me.

 

And somewhere in the middle of the calling and shouting I feel the whisper of God.

 

 

This was my best five minutes on ‘voice’. Also linking with

Beholding Glory

 
Over to you:

  • What helps you when God feels distant?

 

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62 Responses to My troubled marriage

  1. Lori 26th October, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

    I praise him, which reminds me how amazing he is. During my praise time, I read the Psalms back to God, personalizing them. The psalms remind me of all God’s attributes, which help me to fall in love with him all over again.

    Then I take time to thank him for everything I can think of. As I write the list of things for which I am thankful, I am reminded, as Ann Voskamp so eloquently pens, that “every item on my list is proof of how much God loves me.”

    He comes close in the revealing of who he is to me, and I am no longer dependent on feelings to confirm he is there. The facts overwhelm me.

    “In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1) Every time you read the Word of God, he speaks to you.
    Visiting from Be Not Weary today and glad I did šŸ™‚

    • Tanya 26th October, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

      Thank you so much for this – God’s word, His attributes, the discipline of praising Him for who He is, and thanking Him for His gifts – great suggestions!

  2. Karmen White 26th October, 2012 at 2:02 pm #

    I play my guitar and sing worship songs….Its what brought me to faith, and returns me to his loving voice. When I can’t hear God, its always because of me, like I keep tuning into the wrong radio station lol!

    I think that some people need to read the word, others listen to sermons, some need to discuss bible passages with other Christians. I just have to sing, or try writing worship songs….He is soon loud and clear once again.

    Love K x

    • Tanya 26th October, 2012 at 3:24 pm #

      I so didn’t know that’s what brought you to faith!
      I think you’re exactly right, that God communes and connects with people in different ways, and it’s really good to figure out what those are. Maybe I need to re-figure out what mine are!

      Thanks, friend šŸ™‚

  3. Sharita 26th October, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    Oh girl… That’s a hard place to be. Sometimes God’s silence is the hardest thing to deal with!! Take heart and hang with Him– I am confident He is listening and will answer you soon!

    Praying that your love relationship with Him is rekindled and has more passion than a honeymoon šŸ™‚

    • Tanya 26th October, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

      It feels a little weird talking about my relationship with God as a troubled marriage – but even weirder to think of a honeymoon….! šŸ™‚ But that’s a great thing to pray – and I’m so grateful you are praying that for me. Thank you.

  4. Joe Pote 26th October, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    I hear your heart’s longing in your words…

    …Jesus hears it too!

    If this feels like a troubled marriage, then you just left love note…

    • Tanya 26th October, 2012 at 3:21 pm #

      Thank you SO much for hearing that (beneath the moaning!)
      Do you know, I think that comment about the love note has made my day! Really helpful – thank you.

  5. Laura @ Pruning Princesses 26th October, 2012 at 12:06 pm #

    What a great analogy. Praying for you, for all us, as seek Him this morning.

    • Tanya 26th October, 2012 at 3:20 pm #

      Thank you for your prayers! Much appreciated.

  6. Linda 26th October, 2012 at 11:32 am #

    I like the imagery of the “troubled marriage”. That’s a living way to describe what we so often feel in our relationship with God. Thank you for your honesty and openness. Great post.

    • Tanya 26th October, 2012 at 3:19 pm #

      I’m SO glad I’m not the only one… Thank you.

  7. Jennifer 26th October, 2012 at 11:11 am #

    I have soooo been there. Many times. That’s a great analogy for it!! I heard it referred to once as a “dark night of the soul”….when you keep showing up and for whatever reason, He is remaining distant. Quiet. Hang in there. We know, even when we don’t feel it, that He does nothing in vain. Praying you get your dawn soon.

    • Tanya 26th October, 2012 at 3:19 pm #

      I’m saying hurrah for finding a kindred spirit! Thank you for this…

  8. Teresa 26th October, 2012 at 10:48 am #

    Knowing His promise to never leave me or forsake me is what helps me.

    • Tanya 26th October, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

      That’s so key – to hang onto His promises – thank you.

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